When a loved one is addicted to substances, it becomes a struggle for the whole family. The person that you once knew may now be replaced by a version of themselves that is hardly recognizable. Someone who was once happy, friendly, welcoming, and trustworthy, may now be depressed, angry, confrontational, and dishonest. As you watch the person you love go down the dark road of addiction, it is very easy to be taken down that road with them. Your efforts to support them and save them can easily turn into you draining financial resources, becoming emotionally exhausted, and alienating other people in your life. How do you support someone that is struggling with an addiction to substances without enabling or losing sight of who you are as a person? It’s something that we must learn how to do with practice, trial and error, and patience.
[Read more…]The Importance of Stress-Management
Stress management is more important than we may think. It’s very easy to say “Well, everyone has stress”. The truth of the matter is that everyone’s stress is different and so is the way that our body and mind respond to it. What is “simple, every day stress” for one person can be life changing and mood altering for another person. It is important to learn more about ourselves and our stress, so we can do preventative work and make positive changes.
For some people, stress may be caused by external factors, such as a high-stress work environment, strained relationships, financial difficulties, or recent, major life changes. For others, stress may be caused by negative self-talk or a distorted perception of daily living activities. Many people also experience a combination of external stressors and negative thoughts. There are ways to sort through stressful situations or thoughts and change the way we view certain situations, so we can move towards a healthier style of living.
We provide services here at the library to address stressful situations and learn stress management skills. There are individual appointments available with licensed social workers to obtain referrals to community resources, such as mental health treatment providers, financial assistance, or housing. We also offer stress management workshops to teach time management skills, ways to identify and change negative thoughts, and how to set better boundaries in relationships. Please contact the library during normal business hours for more information. A voicemail can also be left for the social workers at 631-605-7334 and someone will return your call within 48 hours.
What’s Grump Lit?
Brought to you by the Patchogue-Medford Reference Department:
Books about grumpy older women (or men) whose compassion and tenderness are displayed after their grumpiness is challenged by perfect strangers who make them think twice about their beliefs in people. Here are a few books to help you get started!
A Man called Ove (Audiobook Download) (Book on CD) (Book) (Large Print)
There is something about Ove. At first sight, he is almost certainly the grumpiest man you will ever meet. He thinks himself surrounded by idiots – neighbors who can’t reverse a trailer properly, joggers, shop assistants who talk in code, and the perpetrators of the vicious coup d’etat that ousted him as Chairman of the Residents’ Association. He will persist in making his daily inspection rounds of the local streets. But isn’t it rare, these days, to find such old-fashioned clarity of belief and deed? Such unswerving conviction about what the world should be, and a lifelong dedication to making it just so?
Our Souls at Night (Audiobook Download) (eBook) (Book) (Large Print)
Addie Moore has lost her husband, and one day she boldly invites a neighbor, widower Louis, whom she does not know well, to come to spend the night sleeping with her (chastely, just so that she may have someone to talk to and confide in during those particularly lonely early-morning hours). Meanwhile, Addie’s grown son is in a troubled marriage, and because of that, he dumps his son on her. Her grandson’s boyish energy attracts Louis even more than it does Addie, and once Louis gets the boy a dog, the three—no, the four, including the delightfully affectionate new pooch—form a new family unit from the spare parts surrounding them.
The Other Side of Everything: a novel (Audiobook Download) (eBook) (Book)
A curmudgeonly widower emerges from a hermit-like existence in the wake of a neighborhood murder that implicates an artistic cancer survivor who creates suspiciously realistic paintings of the crime scene in her efforts to cope, a situation that is further complicated by an abandoned teen who finds herself drawn to the chief suspect.
Kanopy Streaming Movies – Free with your library card!
Classic Films:
That Touch of Mink
Starring Cary Grant and Doris Day. A romantic comedy in which a game of cat and mouse ensues between two people from different social backgrounds.
To Catch a Thief
An Alfred Hitchcock classic starring Cary Grant and Grace Kelly. A reformed jewel thief is suspected in a rash of gem thefts in luxury hotels of the French Riviera and must set out to clear his name.
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
A romantic comedy starring Audrey Hepburn. A New York socialite is interested in a young man who has moved into the same apartment building but her past threatens the budding romance.
Funny Face
Musical starring Audrey Hepburn and Fred Astaire. Set in Paris, this romantic comedy is sure to leave you singing and dancing with joyous delight.
Comedies:
Burbs
An early Tom Hanks film also starring Carrie Fisher and Bruce Dern. Hijinks ensues when an overstressed suburbanite and his neighbors become convinced that the new family on the block are part of a murderous Satanic cult.
48 Hrs.
Box office hit starring Eddie Murphy and Nick Nolte. A wise-cracking criminal is temporarily paroled to a hard-nosed cop in order to track down a killer.
Hunt For the Wilderpeople
Award winning new comedy from acclaimed New Zealand director Taiki Waititi. A defiant city kid finds himself on the run with his foster uncle in the New Zealand Bush. They put aside their differences when a national manhunt ensues.
Starting Over
Romantic comedy starring Burt Reynolds and Candice Bergen. A divorcee falls in love but cannot get over his ex-wife.
To access Kanopy it’s as simple as making an account using your library card barcode and email address. Stream films anytime, anywhere on your preferred devices.